How To Make Friends and Meet Cool People (as an Expat)

Every once in awhile someone writes a blog post saying that the biggest downside of being location independent is because it’s so hard to meet new friends in new places.

They say “Man, I really wish I was location independent, but I’ll leave behind all of the cool people I know in Kansas.”

This is true. Sometimes it can be hard to meet people in new places.

Meeting people is hard, but it doesn’t have to be impossible.

How to meet people when you’re location independent.

Over the last few years I’ve reduced my stuff to somewhere less than 100 things (some say 57), learned how to live and work from anywhere since 2015 roughly, and relocated to a bunch of new cities (Bangkok, Bali, Chiang Mai, Saigon, Da Nang).

Every time I move I have no problem establishing a social network of decent people within a short amount of time.

I realize that some people have trouble doing this, so maybe this article can help you learn how to meet new people easily when you’re vagabonding around the world running a minimalist business while living with less.

These tips can probably apply if you’re location independent or just trying to find new friends outside of your normal circles.

So no worries if you’re not doing the expat thing yet, you still might learn something from this!

If you’re really interested in the expat life, I built "The Expat Escape" for you. It isn’t for everyone, but if you're curious about how to properly move abroad long term then check it out.

THE EXPAT ESCAPE

This no-BS course shows you exactly how to build your new life in Thailand or Vietnam without regrets or costly mistakes.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE

Here are 10 strategies I’ve developed for meeting remarkable people:

1. You can’t be friends with everyone

First, recognize that a person who tries to be friends with everyone ends up being friends with no one. The best networkers realize that they won’t be able to connect with most people, so instead focus their attention on people they can connect with. This means, if you there’s no magic, then you need to drop it immediately and try to connect with the next person.

Like my buddy Brad once told me, conversation is like dancing. Some people you dance well with, others you don't. Conversation is like that, sometimes you hit it off, others it's a struggle.

Like I struggle to connect with guys who are all into sports. I like watching my team the Patriots because I'm from New England, but apart from that I could care less about sports. I don't follow anything, I don't care about the players, coaches.

It's just not my thing.

2. Discover something to do on a monthly basis

You need a social hobby. Preferably something that involves exercise. For example, I go to Muay Thai training every week. This means after a few weeks I started connecting with regulars who are doing something interesting with their lives.

I also tried out yoga with my buddy Romeo who just visited Saigon. It's a good way to wake up in the morning, and lot's of attractive women.

If you’re stumped as to what a social hobby is, here are some examples: any dance form, playing guitar, martial arts, running, rock climbing, writing workshops, dance parties, cooking. Almost everyone has one of these as a focus in their life.

If your hobby is drinking beer at the bar, watching movies alone in your house or getting high as a kite, chances are you’ll have trouble meeting people. Change it up, don't be shy. You got to put yourself out there.

3. You need a common interest

The best people to connect with are people who share some aspect with you. Like my friend Andrew who I meet in Bangkok through my friend Pinky. He was dating Pinky (Thai girl and yes Thai people have odd nicknames) and we hit it off talking about business.

He sold his agency for 1.5 million and we ended up talking about Fiverr, running ads, affiliate marketing and more. As people we're quite different, but we share this common interest that allows us to form a friendship.

Think about all of the best friends you’ve had in the past?

Finding new friends means admitting that you need to meet people who are share some aspect similar to you. If they aren’t similar, you start talking about the baseball, everyone gets bored and you aren’t helping anyone.

This is also why you always have a party every time you’re staying in a Hostel. Because you can all connect around the common experience of being a traveller.

4. Use existing infrastructure.

One of the biggest obstacles is quite simple, and easily avoided: a lot of people try to re-invent the lightbulb instead of just flipping it on.

You see, we live in the modern age, and yet so many people insist on not entering it. Let me cut to the chase: 80% of people meet new people over the Internet.

Why?

Because it’s easier than interrupting people who might already have plenty of friends on the street asking if you can hang out. People on the Internet looking for friends on the Internet generally want new friends, and thus are much easier to become friends with them.

So don’t be afraid to use Instagram, Facebook groups or email to find people in your new city to meet.

Don’t leave friendship to chance, or you’ll be wandering alone for a very long time. Use existing infrastructure in order to establish local relationships that last for a very long time.

5. Value real relationships

I’d rather have a couple of really good friends in every city than hundreds who barely know me. Don’t focus on meeting everyone. Meet a few people that you click with and build from there. Maybe you only need to meet 5 people before you find one with an existing social circle that extends across the entire city.

I always think about The Tipping Point, where Gladwell stated most people can manage only 150 real connections. However, some super-people end up being connectors that know just about everyone. Every good social circle has a few connectors that introduce everyone and basically lead the party. Find these people, they will introduce you to everyone.

6. Live with people

Still stuck at home? Don’t live by yourself. Yes, living with people is more difficult, and sometimes the dishes don’t get done. But if you’re moving to new cities this is a great way to step into a social network that already exists. My friend Brad did this by moving into a cool house district 1 in Saigon with his work mates.

His house ended up being a fun spot to visit every week for house get togethers. Right now I’m living alone and I prefer living alone, but I have a group of friends here already and a GF so I'm properly setup.

7. Have no expectations

It can be really hard to find friends if you really really need to find friends. Be okay with being alone, and let things happen. I call this "friendship purgatory."

Don’t be running around asking everyone on the street ‘will you be my friend’ ‘will you be my friend?’ No one wants to be friends with you if you’re like that. Instead focus on what kind of value you can add to the lives of others when they come in contact with you.

8. Go it alone

It’s really hard to meet people if you’re always with an entourage. Chances are, if you’re always hanging out with your best buddy, you’ll never find new ones. Be okay with being alone. Meet people without dragging your friends or your only friend with you. This will make it much easier to connect and listen to the new people you’re meeting.

Like doing a yoga class solo for example or taking a solo trip somewhere because you really want to go while no one else does. Like my dad would always say, "you don't know unless you go, but you if you stay here 100% nothing will happen."

9. Leave your house

This is obvious, but if you stay in doors watching YouTube and Tiktok all day, you’ll never meet new people. Instead get outside!

For example, last Saturday I ran into my friend Alex Stevenson of Ninja Teacher while getting coffee in Binh Thanh District here in Saigon. We subsequently made plans to do a double date next weekend.

This doesn’t happen when you stay at home.

10. Be open to adventures

If you start every relationship with ‘I’d really love to meet up, but I can’t until next Tuesday at 12 noon because I have an really obsessive e-mail checking schedule’ you’re not going to make many friends.

The value of being a location independent expat is that you can also have an open schedule. If someone calls, just say ‘yea, why not now?’

Don’t afraid to jump on the back of a motorcycle if the opportunity should present itself. You might just end up at a fun random event in Bangkok unexpectedly.

Yes, you didn’t KNOW you’d be there. This is what living the moment is, you can’t plan everything. Planning nothing is usually a way better way to engage with the world.

Just be open, and let the relationships come to you.

But you do need to put yourself out there.

THE EXPAT ESCAPE

This no-BS course shows you exactly how to build your new life in Thailand or Vietnam without regrets or costly mistakes.

CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE