My Thoughts on Dating Girls in Thailand, Vietnam and The Philippines
I've been watching David Bond in the Philippines and he confirms my personal experiences after having traveled to, and lived in South East Asia. I break down my personal experiences after 10+ years of being an expat and debunk a lot of myths and assumptions men who don't travel have.
He privated this video 🤷
I've lived in both Thailand and Vietnam for years. I didn't just travel to these places for a few weeks, I lived in both countries and have had both meaningful and casual relationships with women in both countries.
During my time as an English teacher in Thailand, I worked with numerous Filipinos so I am familiar with that culture as well.
If you're wondering, Filipinos work typically as English teachers or in hospitality here in Thailand. They are usually poorly paid as a teacher ($500 a month) and send their money back home to their parents and extended family which results in them being constantly broke and having to borrow money from one another.
It's a harsh reality for a lot of the Filipino teachers here working at government schools.
Remember though, I said teachers.
Not all Filipinos work as teachers. My friend Mike is from Cebu and does real estate here in Thailand and makes 80K Baht a month. A totally reasonable salary that is much better than what any western ESL teacher in a Thai government school is making.
They have a strong proficiency of English so its quite common to see them working at government schools around Thailand. Because they are so numerous, they usually form local organizations and support each other quite well whereas for American and European expats, our local organization is the bar (joking).
I have a good understanding of the women in all three countries so I want to share my experiences with the women here in this post about dating as an expat.
Having multiple women accidentally
To be honest I would love to settle down and have children with the right person as hook-up culture does get boring and I have more important things to do than just go out with women.
In both Thailand and Vietnam, I regularly have a rotation of 3-4 attractive girls I see. The relationship starts out where we would go out one time, sleep on the first date, then they would want to come straight to my place at night from there on out for the next 1-5 months once a week or so.
Then the relationship dies off and they move on to a new guy or it becomes a casual FWB type relationship where we go out once every few weeks.
I know this sounds crazy, but a lot of girls have their own rotation of men, which I don't think men who don't get attention from women understand.
Girls like men.
Girls like attention.
Girls like sex.
It's just that most women find most men unattractive.
When you get to a certain level and become that guy who is a YES for women, you start to see another side of girls most men never get to.
This is why you'll always hear the term that women are never single. They may not be in a relationship, but they for sure are seeing and sleeping with some guy you don't know about.
For more checkout my guide on how to know if you're dealing with a promiscuous girl:
Edge of David
A disclaimer
Women are women.
They are not radically different from one place to the next, and no, these countries are not some 3rd world hell hole. Beautiful Thai and Vietnam girls have standards like any other girl, and you're not going to get access to them simply because you're white or have an American passport.
You need to be physically fit, know how to talk, dress and have it all together. A lot of guys claim that Bangkok is "Chaded out" now. But the reality is that Bangkok is a major city with attractive girls who have options and standards.
So don't roll up to Thailand with your bald head, big gut, wearing a Chang T-shirt and a trucker hat with a scruffy beard thinking you're going to be getting high-quality women because "American women suck."
If you're unattractive in the USA, you're still going to struggle abroad. The burden of performance for men does not go away because you flew to Thailand or Vietnam.
Also, no I don't pay for women and no these women never ask how much money I make. Honestly, guys who lead with their wallets only do so because they have this annoyingly weird notion that it's all women care about.
These types of men also tend to be physically unattractive males who refuse to do the work about their style and fitness and don't learn how to converse with women so they emotionally invest in them; and instead zero in on the money aspect since that's all the think they can control.
The reality is when I have a one-night stand with some attractive Thai girl, do you think she knows or cares how much money I make?
Newsflash, NO.
The reality is that women like sex, but are much more selective about the men they choose to sleep with.
Most men they encounter it's a no, no and no.
So by becoming that guy who is a "yes" for women makes attraction all the more easier because it's rare for them to meet someone they actually want to sleep with.
Thailand
Thailand has very beautiful girls who are fun and feminine. Thai people are a bit open sexually too (both men and women which I'll get to in a bit).
Like American girls, it's not uncommon for them to be talking to multiple men and for you as the guy to be just one of many.
Thai culture even has a word for friends with benefits before we had that term which they call "geek."
So perhaps it's always been a thing in this country?
They also have a word that translates literally to "mini wife" as married men having a side girl they take care of becomes a status thing.
I don't want to make it seem like everyone is like this. I'm just mentioning that it's a thing here. There are a lot of girls who are a bit more conservative and take things slow too.
In Thailand, if you're reasonably good-looking, fit, know how to dress and talk, it's pretty easy to meet a quality girl at a bar or club who's just out with her friends:
I met her at a bar/restaurant.
She was out with a few friends, I thought she was beautiful and I went to talk to her. We hit things off, I got her IG and the rest was history as she into me as well.
Thai girls are also totally open to going home with you the same night. Not all do this mind you, so don't be a creep about it. But it's a thing.
Last, by bar or night club, I mean a normal bar or night club where middle to upper-class people who live in Bangkok go to. That's where you'll meet nice, normal, attractive Thai girls.
Not the loud, overweight potato who works at the bar, which is what you usually see the old men of Thailand walking around with.
Yes, you have your red light areas that are fun to party in, and they do have a "pay to play" culture where you can "bar fine" a girl and have her spend the night with you...
But that is the realm of out-of-shape, old, men who can't attract girls under normal circumstances.
Not judging though, some men are unlucky with their genetics, but it's usually more the case of men not doing the work to level up.
If you do the work and take care of yourself, you can jump on dating apps and match with attractive girls as well as well as meet girls casually when you're out with friends.
I've found most Thai women to be fun, enjoyable, polite and feminine. But at least in Bangkok, it is hard to find girlfriend material as most girls here don't actually know how to be a girlfriend.
They expect you to focus on them 100% while they run around with other men and keep their options open.
It's weird, but it is how it is.
In short, if you're looking for sexy, fun girls to date casually then Thailand is great. There are good Thai women, but good, high quality women in general are hard to find.
Wives now-a-days seem to be in short supply.
So if you do find a quality girl hold onto her.
If you're like me and over the player lifestyle however, you'll be frustrated with trying to date anyone seriously here.
Thai women are also strangely jealous, more so than other women.
It's a weird thing and I have no idea why they are like that. I've dated Japanese girls, Chinese, and Vietnamese and found them to be as jealous as any woman is, but a lot of Thai women take it to a different level.
Vietnam
Vietnam has some of the most beautiful girls I've ever gone out with. If you're looking for a quality girl to actually date, something that is heading to marriage, then you'll love Vietnam.
This is not to say Vietnam girls are not down to have one-night stands, casual sex type relationships.
They most certainly are.
Its just that's possible to find something long-term here as the women have good behavior. If they are dating you, they are in general not going out with or talking to other men the way Thai women do.
There are exceptions, I was seeing one girl casually in Vietnam and found out she had a Vietnam guy as her BF. She described him as a guy who made her feel safe, but she was not into it sexually with him.
But in general, I found most Vietnam girls to be of high quality and family-oriented. That's again not to say they are not down to have a casual relationship too.
Just be weary of dating in Hanoi as dating apps are useless there.
Before I dated my ex, I was casually seeing multiple girls.
Amy was a 20 year old Korean/Vietnam mixed girl. We went on one date, then she went home with me that night. From there she would come over my place for sex and to sleep over for the next 2 months. She never wanted to go out on a date again, she just wanted to go about her day, then when she was done she would come over 1-2 times a weeks.
Vy (girl in the picture) was a gorgeous 20-year-old yoga teacher who came over my neighborhood for coffee. This then led us to go back to my place and for the next 5 months she would ask me to order her a grab to come to my place at night and leave in the morning once a week. She lived far away in district 10 and was 20 and just finishing school.
Emma was an 18-year-old university student who I took out one time. She came home with me the same night and became someone I saw once every 2 weeks or so for a few months. She would sleep over and that was that.
Sara (Duong was her name, but she went by Sara as her English name) was a girl I matched with on Tinder. We met at Cheese Coffee, where I was working on my laptop. We talked for 40 minutes and had a nice time. Then I said I needed to go back to my room to drop off my backpack so we could go out without me lugging my laptop around everywhere.
I was totally sincere about wanting to drop off my backpack as I didn't want to carry it around everywhere. But once we got back to my room and Sara for whatever reason was turned on and wanted sex. From there she straight up told me she just wanted a FWB setup and would come over my place 1-2 times a week for the next 4 months.
From that point, we never went out again. She would just come over in the evening.
None of these girls wanted a serious relationship with me mind you.
They were all fine, just seeing me casually. I was on their rotation to be honest.
Vietnam compared to Thailand
The main difference with Vietnam compared to Thailand is that with a Vietnam girl you actually have to plan a date. Vietnam girls will sleep with you on the first date if you're cool, fun, handsome, charming, and they are in the mood, but you have to go on a date.
Unlike in Thailand where I can go to Thonglor, Ekkamai, Soi 11 near Nana or Kao San and meet some cute 22 year old girl randomly who will go home with me that night because she's attracted to me.
In Vietnam that's not a thing.
You need to match on a dating app, then go on a proper date.
As for the "pay for play" culture, Vietnam is not for you if you're that type of guy or have that expectation.
Reekay, the guy in the video above said "Dating in Vietnam sucks." As such, he's now made his way back to the Philippines.
"Vietnam sucks for dating" is only true if you're an unattractive, out of shape old man.
Reekay is clearly a nice man, but he is not what any young woman in Vietnam would say yes to.
In Vietnam you'll never see some 20-year-old girl with an out-of-shape, dusty looking 60-year-old man (not saying Reekay is).
Vietnam girls are not poor and desperate as many Western feminists like to cope by telling themselves and they are not into very old, out-of-shape men.
You'll struggle with dating in Vietnam if that's you. This is why the Philippines is so popular with old guys, because they can actually get a girl in her 20s to 30s.
Philippines
I am personally not attracted to most Filipino girls. Notice I said MOST not all. Like any place of course there are very beautiful women.
In David Bond's video he stated most of the girls he meet had things like yellow teeth, no sophistication with money, not saving or planning for the future, time management problems and even their phone filled to the brim with dumb TikTok videos.
Eating only rice and fried food, no vegetables, then wondering why they look the way they look.
Overall not what I find physically attractive.
Don't get me wrong, I like Filipino people and find them to be some of the warmest, most hospitable people around.
It's also great they have a good command of English and the men are tough and masculine:
Give me ten thousand Filipino soldiers and I will conquer the world.
-General MacArthur
But for dating, it's pretty rare for me to meet a Filipino girl that I actually find attractive.
They exist; it's just hard to find.
You'll like the country if you're an older gentleman because the girls are open to going out and dating older men seriously.
However, don't be like this guy:
Conclusion
In short, the passport pill is not some magic solution. The burden of performance does not go away as a man.
You need to get it together so you can become a man who has choice and abundance in life.