The Highest Form of Self Love is Discipline for Men

When I look back on my 2 years in Bangkok, a thought has emerged out of the hedonistic black hole I had found myself in.

I had fun in the moment, but looking back I didn't have fun. I don't miss my Bangkok life at all and am happy it's in the past.

Why?

It's from a total breakdown of discipline. Happiness and self love from men emerge from discipline. Training regularly, making money, putting in the work and moving that proverbial needle in the right direction.

Instinctively we all know what we should be doing, but few people rarely do.

I think it's in part to broken families, broken homes, and single mother house holds which are simply not good environments to raise healthy children. Oh and yes I know there are exceptions, but exceptions don't make the rules.

This why you admire people who are in shape, are happily married, doing well in life. Because your heart of hearts recognizes when a behavior is the correct way of being.

When children aren't raised with consistent love and emotional safety from their mother and father, they struggle to develop a secure sense of self.

Without experiencing what healthy love feels like (support and also enforcing boundaries) they can't build an internal template for self compassion.

A child who grows up without feeling truly safe and value learns to operate from a place of emotional survival rather than security.

This makes it incredibly difficult for them to develop the capacity for genuine self love later in life because they never received the foundational experience of unconditional care that teaches us we are inherently worthy of love

The love we give ourselves as adults is deeply rooted in the love we received as children. When that foundation is missing, learning to love ourselves becomes not just difficult, but often feels impossible or foreign, like trying to speak a language we were never taught.

Habits define us

Good habits = discipline
Bad habit = cheap dopamine

You would build a better life being consistent with simple good habits vs an extreme burst of high effort that leaves you burned out and eventually to tired to keep going, thus a regression occurs.

"Back sliding" as I like to call it.

The say don't judge a book by it's cover, and that's true in a lot of ways. We're all dealing with something, but it's a survival instinct to judge people by their appearance to see if they are a threat because, yea you can learn a lot about someone just by looking at them.

The number 1 thing that controls your future are the 5 people you spend the most time with.

So, you have positive social circle around you are you more around people holding you in place?

Fat friends keep you fat.

Broke friends keep you broke.

You get the idea.

If you have goals and dreams but your social circle does not reflect that, then your dreams will remain as such, a dream.

I'll motivate my friend to change with me!

No you won't. You will try and fail.

People are on their own path, all you can do is be the light that shines on their mediocrity and mistakes and hopefully show them what's possible so change comes from within themselves.

The reality is that only person you control is YOU.

It's really is a total waste of time and energy to try and change someone else. The best ROI is focusing on yourself.

We always think about changing someone from a negative to positive behavior mode, but think about someone who's already doing well.

Take David Goggins for example

Imagine trying to change that guy.

Hey don't work so hard, don't train so hard, spend more time doom scrolling and watching YouTube.

You read that and think "duh" of course, that's a massive waste of time.

Well, it's the same with people who are consumed by bad habits, you can't change them but you can nudge them along in the right direction by being a guiding light.

When they're ready to follow (if ever) they will.

Most people are a bit delusional

They say they eat healthy but are fat, say the work hard but have no money saved, say they are trying to date but nave have anyone.

This tends to be from an ego that refuses to fix themselves.

The reality is that when you're growing as a person you may have to remove "always the victim, never the hero" type people.

That's why they call the successful the 1%

Be mentally prepared to shed all the things that do not serve you:

• Beliefts
• Where you live
• Relationships
• Family
• Jobs

...whatever it takes.