Online Dating Advice: The Only Online Dating Tips You Need
Hey there, this online dating guide is equivalent to a long chapter in a book. It covers all the aspects of dating online.
You will NOT find a more detailed post anywhere else on the web.
The best way to use this online dating advice guide is to scan for areas of interest. I have covered everything from the best dating sites, profile writing, messaging, do’s and dont’s, and dating courses that kick ass. You should get a lot of value out of this. Let’s get to it!
—–START—–
Online dating: It used to be the territory of the desperate, timid, and socially awkward a decade ago right?
Let’s throw in some people from the witness protection agency too for fun. Now-a-days though there has been an explosion of dating sites. They are as common as Starbucks and about as popular too. No doubt, online dating has become the modern day match maker (online dating results in about 33% of all US marriages believe it or not).
Instead of having your aunt preach the virtues of this girl she meet (or guy), online dating sites now make for a “do it yourself” solution…which is all the more reason you need online dating advice and online dating tips to help guide you.
The biggest question most ask…
is how and where do you meet people that are date worthy? Once you’re done with school and you’re working full time it gets more challenging. Are you really going to meet the love of your life at a bar? At a friends party? Maybe haphazardly when you’re strolling through the mall?
Sure, why not. Crazier things have happened…but why put it to chance alone? This is why online dating has such a level of popularity. It gives you direct power over your dating life.
It can be difficult to meet quality people if you’re single and on your own.
Learning how to date online is useful because if you choose to ignore it, you’re missing out on a wonderful way to meet a variety of people you may never would otherwise. Stop looking at dating sites with skepticism and prejudice and learn how to leverage online dating sites and have fun with it.
Online dating is your personal catalog of willing and available persons.
The awesome thing about online dating is it acts as a catalog of men and women in every shape size and color. You can literally browse other human beings by category: White, Black, Asian, mix, other. Set predefined height limits, set up filters on who can talk to you and who can not.
You can also check out the new arrivals or view the clearance section. Categories also allow you to browse by whatever is your “type” is. Personality? Character? Ambition? Who cares! I only date black guys or white guys or blond women or Asian chicks!
Internet dating exposes you to more variety. It allows you to meet girls and guys you otherwise would not.
Plain and simple this is the strongest reason to use a dating site (and is specifically why I use online dating in conjunction with going out). You meet girls/guys all the time, but when you do the same thing week after week, the same 3 bars, the same 4 clubs, in the same 3 towns over and over. The variety starts to dwindle, you find yourself meeting the same type of person over and over again. Online dating can help break this cycle up.
Maybe you’ll meet the busy entrepreneur who works all the time and never gets out, maybe you’ll meet that beautiful family/career oriented girl who doesn’t like bars, or maybe you’ll meet the 35 yr old who live at home with mom and dad and doesn’t go out because he has no friends. There is risk in online dating, but if you arm yourself with the right online dating tips and online dating advice you increase the potential that you might me someone great.
—–DATING SITES—–
So what are you looking for?
Dating sites cater to different crowds, and there are a ton of different ones to choose from…but quantity does not mean quality. Some sites are filled with fake profiles, other sites like Eharmony have hidden restrictions because only paying members can message one another.
When it comes to dating, if you actually want to meet someone stick to the top paid dating site, or the top two free dating sites and save yourself some hassle. I recommend the following because they are the most effective in terms of finding a date and potentially a relationship:
Match dot com
Match online dating is the original and best dating site in the industry. It has been around for years, provides a high quality service, has a very active community of singles, a solid reputation and track record as well as a trusted brand reputation.
Some features: You can browser for free, you can receive messages from paying members, you can narrow down your search by specific parameters, you can set up filters of who can message you.
You have to pay to message people, BUT you can receive messages for free. There is a hidden benefit of the site having a small price point – it keeps out dating site bums, people who are not really serious about finding someone.
The fact that you have to pay a small fee (equivalent to a cup of coffee a month) is a motivator because it forces you to commit to finding someone serious. Sign up for Match here.
Plenty of Fish
Plentyoffish (POF): POF was built by a guy named Markus in his bedroom to teach himself code, the site was run all by himself for a few years. He now employs about six people and has been made into a multi-millionaire because of its success.
So how does a free site make him millions? Simple. Ads. His site receives millions of visitors and does BILLIONS of page views. It is simply incredible.
The actual site is very ugly and can be a bit confusing to navigate, but this is offset by the free price point and the massive community of users. It has also attracted tons of imitators who make a prettier version of POF, but they end up failing. Why? Because they lack the community. There can only be so many free sites in a market. Lucky for POF they have conquered this market niche. No one else need apply.
The only problem I can find with POF is that POF attracts dating site bums. Guys who send emails to girls, get offended when they don’t response, then send hate mail. Ive talked to women about the site and this is always a consistent drawback of the POF cited by women. This it the limitation of the freemium model.
Attractive girls get 20-30 emails a day and are often harassed from these men, thus they end up leaving the site because of a bad experience. Overall though, Plenty of Fish is an excellent site despite that one draw back. Sign up for POF here.
Okcupid is another good free dating site
Okcupid: It’s a site made by a group of Ivy League school math students. Okcupid allows you take endless surveys to help match you with like minded prospects (like I said, it’s a bunch of math majors who love stats and numbers).
The good points of the site are that it is free, it shows you how picky someone is so you can gauge whether or not you want to take the time to message them, and it allow for a quick fire match system based on rating pictures between one and five stars.
If you rate someone four or five stars and that person rates you equally, then both of you receive an emailing describing how both of you rated each other highly. That is a great way to break the ice and it is always fun to kill a little time by rating pictures. Sign up for Okcupid here.
—–PROFILE—–
Did you choose one? Lets move onto the profile
Take some time scanning through the list above. Once you have figured out what you are looking for and what site might be right for you, sign up for a site or two… $30-40 a month is not going to break the bank. If you want to cancel after one month, you can really cancel with no worries of future charges.
With that out of the way, let’s cover the topic of actually writing an online dating profile. Make sure your profile explains WHAT you looking for, not just why someone should be interested in you.
Online Dating Profile Tips: A weak uninspiring profile:
I’m a very successful businessman who’s the VP of finance at a fortune 500 company. I like to play base guitar in my rock band, I speak 3 languages, and I save kittens from shelters on the weekend.
What I am looking for: Someone who is nice and cute.
What this is really saying is that 1) You have no idea what you want, and 2) are probably a bit full of yourself, which is not a desirable trait. The good points are you did a good job selling yourself, you just need to focus more on what you want. Develop a more balanced approach.
A stupid generic profile:
Whats up? I’m 24, I like to chill, looking for a cool girl to relax with. My goal is to win the lotto and open a bar.
What I am looking for: Someone who knows how to have a good time. Hit me up if you like what you see.
You come off like an idiot if you write this.
Female online dating profile tips:
Men focus on the pictures more than what you say. So keep your profile descriptive and unique but do not over do it. Just craft a few nice sentences describing how you have standards, what you are looking for, things you like to do, and what you are generally all about. Since men send the first email 75% of the time according to POF it is best to create a profile that allows a man to break the ice based off something you wrote, just don’t go overboard because your picture will determine if you get an email or not. In all honesty, online dating advice and online dating tips for women profiles really are that basic…don’t over complicate it.
Male online dating profile tips:
The nature of an online dating site is to go off the pictures. If a woman does not find your picture attractive she will disqualify you before reading what you wrote. While this is true, what you say is important to women. My best advice is to be long, descriptive, unique, humorous, and a bit of a smart ass.
Being overly nice and generic is boring and it does not work. Just to give you an idea here is my personal online dating profile:
Honestly, whats the point of this part? I don’t think girls actually read this area. You just look at my pics and 1) disqualify me if you don’t think I am cute or 2) you read what I wrote and return my message only *after* viewing my pics to see if I am cute enough.
This is why guys generally don’t put in the effort online because it goes unrewarded. Yea I could talk about how I am in shape and I’m smart and I want a family and I like pets, and I’m entrepreneurial. I could get into all the ways you would be lucky to have a guy like me…but you don’t care about any of that. You just care about what the pics are.
Because I forgot that arrogance is a new trait among so many on this site, that you look down on guys, that because you think your so pretty and wear nice clothes, but have nothing to offer other than your looks you deserve some GQ looking guy. Oh and if you thought I was cute and actually read to this point…high five, what I just wrote was a test to see if girls read profiles or not, and if you don’t think im cute but read this ha ha tricked you, I was probably not that interested in you anyways. (and yes I agree, the above applies to guys as well, guys are worse actually…and yes this was meant to be slightly truthful/humorous since most of us go of the pictures, make a + or – decision THEN read the profile….looking forward to see what kind of hate mail I get with this, Ill keep you up to date)
I get about 4 emails a day with this little number. It is funny and demonstrate I don’t give a sh#t which women love for whatever reason.
First Impressions are everything
We all exaggerate a bit. You’re going to want to say you’re a bit taller than you actually are. That you make a little more money than you actually do. That you weigh a little less than is reality. My personal rule:
Lie enough to get to coffee, but not to get to bed
Don’t say “I’m a millionaire cowboy astronaut who takes time to reflect on my feelings every day”, or “I’m a cover-girl model with a PHD in European history who travels the world”. Blatant false advertising is a no no. It will just wastes your time and theirs. You want to put your best foot forward, but you want the other person to actually be interested in who you are, not who they think you are.
If you’re afraid of rejection then you have to overcome that fear. You will be rejected. You will not be cute enough for some people, thin enough for some people, tall enough for some people…but you know what? Get over it.
Strong points can make up for weak character traits:
- I’m a pathological liar, but I tell great stories!
- My IQ is about room temperature and stairs confuse me, but I’m nice to small animals and children.
Be reasonably honest so when you meet in person, your date won’t be disappointed. You want the person to like you for you. This is easier said than done, but trust me, honesty is the best policy. Always.
A profile is NOT a resume, it is a piece of sales copy advertising YOU
You take time reading reviews before you buy something. Well what the heck do you think online dating is? The profile is your sales copy, your picture is the product, the date is the test to see if it works, and the late night romp means you did the job as advertised.
You need to take time and care when filling this stuff out. It takes practice. Make a word document that is dedicated to what your online profile reads. Work on it and make changes to it little by little till it is perfect. Since it is in a word file you can easily copy and paste it on any site you end up using.
Spell check / grammar / all caps
Spell check your words and understand the difference between your and you’re, their, there, and they’re. This is essential online dating advice. Spelling errors make you look stupid.
Valuable online dating tips also include the warning to never use all caps. It makes you look like an idiot or a 14 year old girl (no offense to 14 year old girls reading this)
WHY AM I YELLING YOU MAY BE WONDERING? I AM YELLING AT YOU TO STOP USING ALL CAPS BECAUSE ANY REASONABLY INTELLIGENT PERSON FINDS THIS ANNOYING.
Exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you’re a girl, it’s OK to use exclamation marks. It makes you come off as happy and energetic. If you’re a guy, it makes you look a bit juvenile. So if you are a man, try to stay away from using exclamation marks if possible, you may think that it shows enthusiasm, but you’re probably wrong.
What you write and what he sees
Buying a house and getting a date, actually have a lot in common. For starters, there’s “code”. “Cozy” means small and cramped, “partial view” means a view of a building that’s in the way, and “great potential” means money pit. The same goes for what you write as a woman. This is how a guy will interpret what you write:
Healthy and Athletic: 15 lbs overweight
loves animals: has 20+ cats
free spirit: might be slutty, aka a potential random hook up
I’m a caring woman: plain looking, over 40, bakes banana bread
Intelligent is sexy: ugly
Girls Just wanna have fun: chubby over-weight sorority chick
To have a chance with me: high maintenance,full of themselves
Don’t waste my time/ where are all the good men: a complainer with bad taste in men
If after all this you find yourself having trouble writing a profile that expresses who you are and what you’re all about there are always online dating profile writing services you can check out and leverage. E-yrano is the market leader in this department. They were founded by Evan Mark Katz, a popular online dating coach who has a reputation to uphold (always a good thing)
—–PROFESSIONAL DATING COURSES FROM TOP DATING COACHES—–
Finding the One Online
Finding the One Online is a great course created and produced by Evan Mark Katz, a top ONLINE dating coach. As an online dating coach he specializes in providing online dating help exclusively. His “Finding The One Online” is full of invaluable online dating advice and online dating tips from an expert. If you have gotten a lot of value out of this post so far but would like more specialized training from a professional, you will not be disappointed with Evan.
“Finding the One Online” is a 7 CDs long with a 200 page book filled with advice earned through years of experience from working with clients who struggled to find love online. On top of the course material you also get a workbook with actionable exercises and content that teaches you how to turn your profile into something compelling and unique, as well as how to date online. From migrating from emailing to phone conversations, to overcoming age discrimination, to flirting. Finding the One is an extremely comprehensive course that you will get a lot out of. Learn more about “Finding the One Online” here.
Secrets of Online Dating
Secrets of Online Dating is a product that provides online dating tips for men. I have done my best to share every possible piece of online dating advice that I know, but if you want professional advice Wygant is excellent . While I am not a fan of David Wyagnt’s blog (I find it a bit silly) I love his products. This is a man knows what he is talking about and really cares. It definitely shows in his work, and his online dating tips are very practical and action oriented towards getting you the girl you want.
Secrets of Online Dating teaches you as a man how you can attract those super hot girls online, the ones you think are out of your league. You can do it, you just need to learn how to do it. That is where David Wygant comes in. His product will walk you though exactly what to say and how to say it so you get better results online. Learn more about the Secrets of Online Dating here.
—–PROFILE PICTURE—–
The profile picture
Time to be creative right? NO. Pick a picture that looks like you. Have a male friend if you’re a girl, or a female friend if you’re a guy to help guide you on which one to use. What you may think looks good may not look so hot to the opposite sex. Its always best to actually ask the opposite sex first when possible. Here are some tips:
- Got the angles? What are the angles? It is those annoying pictures that are shots at odd perspectives. Having one picture like this if you are a girl is OK, guys love those shots. But if they are all like that it looks like your trying to hide your ugliness.
- DON’T use your high school photos. I don’t care if your 21, you may look good, but its weird. Why don’t you have pictures? Do you not go out, do you not have friends? These are the questions that will be raised, so do yourself a favor and ditch the school book photos.
- The best pics are the natural ones of you where you’re outside doing something dressed normally that actually looks like you. Not you 10 yrs ago, or you 20 lbs lighter.
What you send vs what she sees
You send: A pic of you with your ex cut out.
She sees:A pic of you with your ex cut out. Girls don’t like that.
You send: You only shirtless.
She sees: A weirdo.
You send: A pic with you and your pet dog.
She sees: A dog lover. Girls like that.
You send:A pic with you and your pet tarantula/python/hamster.
She sees: A Weirdo.
You send: A pic with you and your BMW/Mustang/monster truck.
She sees: A shallow status conscious guy, that thinks he can impress me with toys. She doesn’t date shallow guys.
You send: Your penis
She sees: A creepy porn freak pervert. This is the creepiest pic you can send a girl. It does not turn her on.
You send: A pic of you 20lbs lighter and 7 yrs younger.
She sees: A good looking guy, only to be disappointed when she meets you in person.
You send: You in a tux at a wedding with your friends.
She sees: She is not sure which one is you, but she thinks your cute, oh wait, she thinks your friend is cute. Sorry.
If you need more help with your online dating photos, or you wish to hire a professional to take some great shots, a fantastic online resource for finding local photographers for online dating profiles can be found at a service call “Look Better Online”.
—–FIRST PHONE CONVERSATION—–
The phone conversation:
After you’ve emailed one another and both like what you see, it’s critical to talk on the phone before you meet. This is not always an absolute, but it is always nice to get as comfortable with one another as possible before you meet.
The idea of talking to a complete stranger can be a bit nerve raking for those shy types, but after you do it a few times, you will get the hang of it. Whenever you talk to someone on the phone for the first time, shoot for a 5-10 minute conversation. If it goes well then by all means go as long as need be. But to avoid the conversation having bouts of awkward silence keep it to 5-10 minutes. Ask them how they like the site, what they do for work. Listen to what the other person says and bounce things off what they say.
Towards the end of the conversation, bring up the idea of meeting for coffee or whatever in person. If you are speaking on the phone then it is obvious the other person would like to get to know you so making plans to meet is a good idea. After you make plans end the conversation. The point of talking on the phone was to develop a level of comfort with the other person as well as make plans. Once both objective are accomplished, be done with it.
One last thing about calling
This is more for guys. You ask someone out twice. If you contact the girl to spend time and do not get a response, or she tells you she is busy, follow up again a week later. If it’s the same response, that she is busy, has to work, or has other plans. Take it as a hint that she is not interested. Simple advice: When a girl likes you, she will make time for you.
—–MEETING IN PERSON—–
Umm, I thought you were going to be attractive
So you find someone you like on a dating site, exchange a few emails, then move on to having a phone conversation. That goes well so you make some plans to spend an evening together or meet for coffee and….you’re not attracted to them in person.
So what do you do? Simply enjoy the date and call it a night. If they do not call, then they got the hint you’re not interested. If they do call or text, ignore the first time. If a second or third call or text happens, consider having the decency to tell them you’re not interested. Say something like “someone is going to be lucky to have you” (implying that it won’t be me).
From my experience however, this is rarely the case where you will have to tell the other person you’re not interested. Most can figure it out.
If all goes well
You meet someone great and that is the goal (high five). Hopefully a nice relationship will blossom. All thanks to online dating. Remember, online dating should not be your only avenue to meet people. You need to focus on having friends, a life and all that important stuff first before you bring someone else in. Online dating should just simply be another avenue to meet guys and girls you otherwise would not. Nothing more, nothing less.
Books and more books
Actually I only have one book that I recommend.
Where else can you buy someones two years of slaving over a notepad for 10$?
I hope you got out a lot of useful information,tips, and resources that will help you be more successful online.
You will not find a more detailed post covering everything to do with online dating advice and online dating tips than this one. Just remember to be direct and honest. If you want to know how to tell if a guy likes you it’s easy, just be honest and direct with him about how you feel. Same goes for you guys. Just be honest and direct with her about how you feel.
Thank you for reading.
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