How to Stop Lying To Yourself
I just need this one little thing done before I can get started
This used to be me. When I started my first blog years ago I had this idea in my head that it had to be perfect. That I could not just start the damn thing and write my first post until it was exactly as I envisioned.
I needed this big expensive design.
I needed that one little thing finished in the sidebar, the footer, the header, and so on…. then I could write and publish with the perfect professional design.
I had this limiting belief in my head because I wanted anyone who visited that first blog to be blown away by it…but design and the content are not two separate things. Both need to be kick ass or you’re still sitting on a dud.
Does this sound like anyone you know?
Someone who believes their own bullshit?
That they need to lose weight before they can go to the gym?
That they need that 800$ camera before they can make videos on YouTube?
Whatever it is they would like to do, what they currently are or have, is not enough. They need that one little thing before they can get going.
If you are anything like the way I was then you know this to be true. Once you get that one little thing, you tend to come up with another reason as to why you take no action towards growth and development:
Great, you lost enough weight to not be embarrassed going to a gym…oh you’re too busy with work now.
Oh hey you got that 800$ camcorder…oh now you need final cut pro or Sony Vegas. Yea it is expensive…
Wonderful, you bought the course on how to approach women, but you have no close friends to go out with and meet anyone…
These are just delay tactics which is no better than an excuse. You may want that better job, better relationship, more money, and think that you need better tools, or more freedom, but this is not entirely true.
What you really need to do it set time limits, develop self discipline and learn how to better manage your time. It is easy to believe the bullshit in your head:
“If I could quit my job I would have enough time to start my business.”
Bullshit.
All you will end up doing is work for 2 hours, then just sitting around. Finding distractions along the way and busy work to suck away your time. Focusing on the many tasks that simulate forward progress instead of the few actual tasks that are forward progress.
Making forward progress means becoming value driven. Like the common example of how 1/3 of all individuals who win the lotto, have everything handed to them, and still end up in bankruptcy. The reason is because they never developed the values that result in success. Values like focus, discipline, freedom, integrity, etc. They were just given the end result of a successful person without ever becoming a successful person in their own right.
When you did not earn it + no idea what the heck your doing = squandered opportunity.
Perfect is the enemy of done.
I know this from first hand experience. Life is an imperfect circumstance. We all must learn how to deal. My recommendation is to set time limits: Whenever you want a project complete, set a date for completion.
Like losing weight, asking someone out, or starting something new; Parkinson’s law states that work will fill up the time allotted. This is why you need a limit. No limit means it will take longer than it should, or worse, it may never get started or completed.
Next, is to develop discipline. Learning how to work when you feel like giving up is tough, but it is the quality of being a successful person. Working when you don’t feel like it.
Lastly, manage your time better. Tension is required to get things done. Pressure from limited time is good. It forces you to think and adapt. Everything you need you could borrow from someone. Everything you want could be done over time. Having limited time as opposed to unlimited time forces action in spite of imperfect circumstances.
To conclude, stop lying to yourself. Stop believing your own B/S
Anything, besides yes and now, is no and never. “I will do it tomorrow”. Bullshit. “If I had more time I could do it”. Bullshit. “If I was thinner I could ask her out”. Bullshit. The funny thing is, deep down inside you already know this!
If your not doing something that you know you should, that task that will provide forward progress; because you believe your own bullshit, that you actually will do it, but then never do… is simply bullshit.