We must teach ourselves when to say something and when to say nothing. This takes time, practice, and a conscious understanding of when to shut the hell up.
For example, perhaps you decided that you’re going to break up and get a divorce. Tell the world as much, only to in the end stay together and reconcile? This is where STHU (shut the hell up) would have come in handy. Now your friends and family know the relationship troubles.
Now it is a bit awkward for them to be around the two of you as they must pretend that everything is the way it was before you decided to end your long term relationship. Good one pal. Next time shut the hell up.
What about being pulled over by a cop?
When a cop asks you a question you give a direct response to the question that was ASKED. When he asks for your license and registration, give him your license and registration. Don’t tell him where you were or where your going, UNLESS the officer asks for that information. If it is a yes or no question, give a yes or no response. Were you drinking? Did you know you were speeding? Did you know your light was out. The best answer is usually NO, but if you were drinking, it’s best not to lie about that, since it will be pretty obvious if you indeed were.
Take for example my friend who got pulled over with me in the passenger seat. The officer asked if I was sober to drive if necessary. My response was yes I can drive. NOT “well I had a beer an hour ago so I should be fine”. That is TMI, too much information. Just answer the question concisely and shut the hell up.
When meeting someone new for the first time, remember to STHU. Yes there is need to know information, like if you have a child, or if you’re a stripper or if you’re unemployed. That information comes after the first and second date, when both of you are seriously deciding if their is a potential worth pursuing.
If you spill the beans on your past relationships or issues you currently have with dating your going to turn off prospective matches. You’re waving a big red “I’m going to suck the life out of you” flag. Remember to be upbeat and positive. Project attractive qualities like easy going, and fun. Not stressed out and worried. If you can’t do that, you shouldn’t be dating, you should be working on yourself first. Starting with, among other things, learning how to shut the hell up.
Telling your co workers about your relationship problems.
PLEASE, PLEASE, do not do this. When you’re feeling distraught, down about life, upset about something, work is not the place to share. Even if the people you confide in are your friends. You will regret it later and feel a little embarrassed about it.
Need someone to talk to? That’s fine, talk to someone. You will feel better about your problem by connecting with other people on it. Just don’t do it at work. Call your sister your brother your parents or your friends. Take a personal day or a long weekend off and just get it together. Sharing your personal life at work, unless it is something positive like getting married or having your first born child, will make you wish latter on that you just shut the hell up about everything.
Posting something stupid or mean on someones wall inadvertently make you look like a stupid angry nut (SAT).
Don’t be a stupid angry nut. Facebook or any public forum is not the place to air grievances, or to use profanity against another person in front of others. Facebook or any personal page is just that, personal.
It is like being invited into someones house, so the same care be taken with someones page. Anyone of my readers who adds me as friend I accept, but that acceptance is like me inviting you over my house. A certain level of decorum is expected.
When you’re feeling angry at someone and you want to get back at them or tell them how you feel, then go for it. Just don’t do it on yours or theirs Facebook wall. Keep it to the message feature, or better, calm down, think rationally, shut the hell up.
Master the art of Shut The Hell Up. Pick your fights intelligently. Avoid trapping yourself with your words. Stop embarrassing yourself.
Gain control over your actions so you proceed with decisiveness and skill, not angry and impulsive. It is always better to say nothing, than to get mad and say something stupid you wish you could take back.
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