Before you even approach a girl
She has already made up her mind about whether or not she likes you. The way you look, the way you walk, the way you stand. All these things play a role in her 1 minute determination of you. If you get pass this one minute filter then it comes down to how you talk. Interesting, funny, and charming or awkward and silent. It’s up to you.
You’re the same way when it comes to women – what did you expect?
I seriously recommend you take a look at my friend David Wygan’ts Men’s Mastery Audio series that covers attraction from the initial meeting with a girl all the way to the bed room. It WILL improve your love life (promise).
How to talk to a girl you like or any woman for that matter: Pay attention to her surroundings.
Why? Because you do not want to come off like your bothering her or that you’re interrupting her. I saw a very beautiful woman at a local coffee shop -
On my way over to say hello some random guy just wanders over to her and asks her some random question about Kim Kardashian (because girls like that crap right?), then dosent let it go even after she showed no interest in talking about the Kardashians (we were standing in line – I thought they knew each other at first!).
While it’s great this guy had the confidence to approach her, it was really weird, totally random, and just plain dumb.
She could sense from a mile away he had no interest in Kim Kardashian or her opinion, he just wanted to strike up a conversation. That’s OK – but it’s a lot like if some girl came over to you and asked about some random sport and you could tell she had no idea what she was talking about. If she was cute, then that is fine of course, but otherwise it’s an akward approach. Same with girls.
Things to talk about with a girl -A stronger approach:
He should have been a bit more aware of what she was doing and play off that instead of just interrupting her. She is thinking coffee coffee coffee, and he just comes in and bothers her with a random question. It’s a lot like spam – and no one likes getting spammed right? When you talk randomly to her you are basically spamming, instead of targeting her and her current interest and situation.
If you want to really know how talk to a girl, 1) approach her when she is not preoccupied, busy, or looks like she is stressed and thinking about something, and 2) come in with a targeted opener. If you are in a coffee shop, talk about freggin coffee: what the best coffee, what the worst, whatever. The connect with her with a story. Remember, feelings before facts with girls.
Next step for talking to a girl is to know what you’re going to say before hand.
This step is a crutch. It may feel a bit fake, but the end goal is to make you more comfortable talking to girls, get your mind working, and NOT to come off as a pre-recorded robot.
This may seem counter intuitive since I’m telling you to memorize things to say, but once you automate this part, it is one less thing you have to worry about. Now, I don’t mean that forever and ever, that when you talk to a girl you should give each girl the same line over and over. I just want you to START NOW with talking to girls. To get comfortable with just striking up a conversation, and to also get comfortable being rejected…because you will be turned down.
Over time, you will become more comfortable talking to a girls you don’t know.
You will need to rely less and less on memorization as it will become more natural for you. Like having training wheels on a bike. In addition to that, you will naturally develop a list of topics to talk to girls about. You will know if she say this, I should say that, if she does this, I should do that. Reading up on how to talk to girls is a great training manual, but eventually yo just need to do it.
Some good openers when talking to a girl
- Hey I need your opinion on something, who lies more in a relationship, men or women?
- Hey let me show you something cool!
- Hey cool I have been meaning to get one of those, how do you like it?
- My friends ran off for a sec, I thought I would join you for a sec.
- Do I look like a gay guy? (This works for whatever reason!)
- It’s all about situation, opinion, or drama with girls
How to talk to girls in social situations like bars, parties, clubs and so forth.
Beautiful girls are NEVER alone. They travel in groups with other guys and girls when they go out. Now, this may surprise you but the best way to meet a single girl is to approach the one that is accompanied by other guys and girls. Why? Because no other guys will approach her because all other guys assume she is taken and don’t want to get into a fight with the men she is with. Even though she is single, no men approach her, which actually makes it easier to approach her as she has less opportunity and selection.
How you do it:
First, don’t come off like you have an agenda. Instead of approaching her, approach the group. Acknowledge the men, and start a conversation. By acknowledging the men, they will most likely be cool with you. What you need to do is literally go over and say “hey guys, I have to get back to my friends, but I was wondering what you thought of X”. What is X? Whatever you want it to be.
After they talk and answer your question, next ask “so how do you know each other”. Then they will say “oh this is my fiance”, or “oh this is my boyfriend”. If that is the case then you say ok thanks have a good night, it was nice meeting you. However, most of the time they will say, “we all have the same class together”, or “we all work together”. If that is the situation, you now you know she is single. That is step one.
The next step on how to talk to girls is to understand that while you and your buddies my be out to pick up girls.
Girls are not always out to pick up guys. Their out to have fun (duh)! As such, always keep your energy level at or above where they are. You do not want to be a drag on their night out. That means you have to be authentic, happy, and confident. Not nervous, quite, and fake.
This is the hard part, but if you want to talk to a girl in a group with other men in it, you have no choice. Just start doing it. You will be terrible and awkward at first, but over time you will get better at it. The reason you say “I have to get back to my friends” is because it gives you a way out and it lets them know your not going to be long. If you do your job correctly and demonstrate fun and value, when you do say, “OK I have to go back to my friends now”, they will say “wait whats your name?”
Approaching girls with other girls is more difficult because they may seem like the more approachable target…
but actually every guy is after them. As such, there is nothing you do directly. They will let you know if they are interested in you by projecting outward signs they want you to approach them. Like making eye contact with you. If you see she is constantly looking your way and your interested in her, stop what your doing and go over and approach her. If not, you will find yourself being that weird guy who just keeps staring at her all night. Remember, attraction is not a choice and by the time you decide you approach her, she will already have made up her mind about weather or not she is attracted to you.
How To Talk to Girls in Class
This is the easiest way to meet girls in my opinion. Class starts and you need to start talking to girls from the get go. Scan the classroom for girls your attracted too and make it a decision to start talking to them within the first week. The advantage of a class is that you see them regularly so you can develop a relationship a bit more slowly and naturally. You also have some thing in already in common…the class!
Make it a point to talk to the girl you’re interested in on week one. So by the end of the class three months later, you will have a relationship on some level with that person(s). Be it romantic or friendship. Remember, attraction is not a choice. You just are naturally, and you just aren’t naturally.
So, if you want to learn how to talk to girls, follow the advice I have given.
Step outside from the person you perceive yourself to be, and act like that person you want to be. Try new things, test them out, see how they work for you. Every guy is different and you have to be yourself most importantly and embrace who you are. If your a serious intellectual, then don’t pretend to be a frat boy. Have fun at this as it will be a learning experience for you. Do things you never would normally do.
Just don’t lose sight that this process should be fun. Go out and have fun. Don’t go out for the sole reason to meet girls, go out to have fun. Meet girls as a one off of having fun. Internalize the big picture steps of what I have told you, so when that girl comes by and you’re like “who is that?” You will be equipped with the skills to talk to her. That is how you talk to girls.