“I am just so tired of guys moving too fast sexually at the beginning of a relationship, where are all the gentleman?”
I’m sure this phrase sounds familiar to many girls reading this. Why do men move so fast? Lets cover a little history.
Men are not descended from men who passed up opportunities to have sex (same goes with women by the way). That mean our ancestors were not always monogamous. Throwing ethics out the window for a moment, any extra sexual activity feels like a genetic bonus for a man. A freebie if you will. From a procreation standpoint is is a win win for men. A potential off spring that will carry the males genes into the next generation AND he does not have to take care off it. Why? Because men are not saddled with child, women are. It is a low risk high gain situation. As such men are not as particular as women in regards to who they sleep with (typically).
For girls however, an affair is a high risk high gain wager.
It’s not like a girl can have an affair and the guy, and the guy is going to get pregnant and be saddled with the kid for the next couple of decades. No. It is the woman who will be saddled with the child. Because of this, women are going to be much more picky about sex then men are (again, typically). Also, if they do decide to have an affair, they cheat up. Meaning they will cheat on their current man with a either a better looking man (good genes) or a man that is more established (good provider). This is unlike men. Men operate in a low risk high gain situation. This motivates men to cheat with whatever they can get.
Take Hugh Grant for example:
- Hugh Grant Cheated on Liz Hurly
- This is Liz Hurly just in case you did not know
- With her, a prostitute named Divine Brown. Shocking, I know.
A women would NEVER do this. If a woman is going to have an affair, she is going to “cheat up” with someone who has better genes, or better provider qualities than her current mate. Be it someone she finds physically more attractive, who’s looks shows of good genes, or a man who shows off good genes through abilities like creativity, music, ambition, risk taking and so forth. A woman who cheats is willing to risk the destruction of her current relationship because instinctively, good genes and good provider qualities are very important to women.
This is why men get a bad wrap. Girls look at men and think they only want one thing…sex (OK sex it is one thing among many things men want and actually need mind you). Taking a look at the Hugh Grant example above, there is some obvious truth to that mentality. What is ironic though about this mentality however, a mentality that so many women subscribe to and complain about, is the very reason you and I are here to begin with. It is because of those men with that high sex drive, those men that did not turn down opportunities to have sex, who were more likely to have their genes pass on to the next generation, including the high sex drive trait, that you and I are here discussing this at all.
So guys move too fast physically because of genes and biology.
We have an inherent high sex drive to help pass our genes onto the next generation. Since guys have a low risk high gain outcome of having lots of partners, this encourages promiscuity among men NATURALLY. So what can you do as a woman? First off, understand that most men you meet want to sleep with you. That does not mean they want to date you and marry you (girls tend to not get this), they just find you cute enough to sleep with, and if given the chance, would do so. When dating someone new, or even if you’re just seeing a new guy but not technically dating, set standards of behavior for him by restraining from sex for a period of time that you are comfortable with. That way, you will filter out the guys who just want sex, from the guys that want sex, but also like you.
-David
Subscribing via rss or email.
If you want to go deeper and make a real relationship with a guy then get these premium courses:
- David Wygant’s The Art of Attracting Men
- Evan Mark Katz’s Finding the One Online,
- and Evan’s awesome ebook on Why He Disappeared
They are all made by professional dating coaches – guys who make a living by being a personal trainer for love.