$2 an Hour Relationships (The Real Secret To Happiness)
Would you take a $2 an hour job? Of course not…
unless you were in desperate straits. Then that $2 an hour job might spell the difference between you starving or committing a crime.
When we come from a position of scarcity, the standards of what we are willing to accept in our life drops sharply. As standards drop so does our self worth. Because once you accept that $2 an hour job, you actually start to believe you are worth $2 an hour.
This is because self worth is a function of scarcity. The less in demand you are, or perceive you are, the less worth you actually have.
If you are desperate for money, think about how this desperation may apply to your relationships. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself in a $2 an hour relationship. A relationship where you are unhappy and wanting more, but believe what you have is better than nothing. You have a lack of choice in your life. As such, you’re controlled by fear.
Fast food relationships are no better
What is fast food? Processed crap that tastes good…but is not good for us. Have you ever thought about your relationship in these terms? If you are starved for love and affection, the type of relationship you will be willing to accept is probably equivalent to fast food. It may give comfort in the here and now… but in the long term it just makes you fat and boring.
I don’t blame you though, the alternative is starving….
Making $2 an hour and being in a fast food relationship sounds like a freakin nightmare. We all intrinsically know that our value is tied to our self worth, and our self worth is tied our position in life….so I will share the secret of happiness with you. I have referred to it numerous times most specifically on The Edge of David home page and about page.
To have happiness in life, you need to have more choice. To have more choice, you need to have more balance. If you are unhappy that means you are out of balance.
Does this sound familiar? Personal development + self realization + financial abundance + empowered relationships = a very powerful person. If you have been reading this site it should!
It is the base point for my content to help you embrace uniqueness and reject mediocrity. So you can live a more free and fun life like I do.
There is a reason why empowered relationships are at the end of the process.
It’s because you need to have the other three aspects of your life in balance. Unhappiness comes from when you are out of balance in your personal development, your self realization, or your financial abundance (or lack there off). To have an empowered relationship, the types of relationships that I enjoy, you need to approach from a position of strength and not scarcity.
This is one aspect you can not “fake it till you make it”. If you’re experiencing a lack of abundance in life, if you have a scarcity mentality, the dumbest thing you can do for yourself it to look for a relationship to make you feel better. This is like a fat person wanting a big mac. It does not solve the deep rooted issues one has, but it makes them feel better for 10 minutes! This is what I mean by fast food relationships, or $2 an hour relationships.
When you have scarcity you are controlled by fear. Fear to make big changes. Fear to look at yourself and what you really are. Fear to stare into the void in your life. Fear to uproot your life and pursue work that is meaningful. It’s easy to just settle for a demoralize state of gray, where you operate a life at a subconscious level, just going through the motions…but that is boring!
The most exciting parts of my life are when stress and change occur. Like leaving for the Air Force, quitting my first job out of college, or making my first money online. To have change you need to apply stress. Otherwise you will be left with little choice because you have experienced ZERO personal growth.
Most struggle at the personal development level.
I meet people that are just simply boring (most people are as boring as hell). They are stuck in jobs they do not want, relationships that don’t empower them, homes that are too expensive, and they just dream about what life would be like if they were “rich” or some other type of vague scenario. When I ask these types what their goals are, I also get totally vague responses to go along with their vague scenarios. The most common vague responses are along the lines of:
- I want to travel more
- I want to meet a nice girl
- I want to make more money
- I want to have more fun
Totally vague. The problem with vague is that the mind does not grasp onto them. They are not concrete like, “I want to perform as a hip hop dancer in 3 months”, or “I want to lead a yoga class in 6 months”. You need to be specific. Being specific with a time frame allows you to systematically approach how you are going to do it.
“I want to have more fun”…
yea I have no clue in hell what specifically you can do to start that because it is so vague, when do you know you have accomplished it? Something like “lead a yoga class in 6 months” however you can systematically break down. Which means you will have a better chance of meeting that goal, and making a positive change because you applied the stress of a deadline.
Stress in life = action (It’s also why most fail at a New Years resolutions)
You have to be the best to attract the best.
We all want to surround ourselves around high quality people. To have high quality relationships with people who will help us be better. Remember though, high quality, high powered, popular people only want to associate with other high quality, high powered, popular people.
This is how relationships work. You do not have to settle when you are in high demand. For example, I did not strike out on my own, take risks, get an education, work hard to make something of myself, dedicate part of my life to this site to help others do the same so I could end up with some girl who thinks she deserves Mr GQ because she is cute and wears nice shoes but has nothing more to offer than her looks. That is a raw deal for me.
The most fundamental advice I can give you is to improve the inner dialogue you have with yourself.
There are entire books written about self image and personal development (I recommend Psycho-Cybernetics as a good start) so for the sake of this post let’s cover the basics. Before many of us leave the house in the morning, negative self talk and poor self image, sabotage our efforts to ever meet anyone interesting and of high quality. We are our own worst enemy. We disqualify ourselves before the other person can because “they could never go for me” type of mentality exists in our head.
All this is your negative self talk kicking in. Your lizard brain as Seth Godin calls it. The resistance. The part of you that wants you to be safe and not do anything risky or exciting. The problem is that you are no longer reacting to the situation at hand, but rather what is going on in your mind. You try to control your emotions by thinking you should not be feeling so insecure, that you should be more confident…but the more you try to control, the more out of control it becomes.
Instead, accept emotions for what they are. Realize that being nervous at times is completely normal, but you should really take action regardless. The key is to take action despite how you feel. Unfortunately, each one of us must come up with our own way to defeat this. My way is my way, it can not be your way.
The powerful part is now you realize this. Now you are are more conscious of it and can identify it. Now go defeat it. Route it out so you don’t have to settle for $2 an hour job or a fast food relationships. Good luck.
